DVD365.net
The Calcium Kid (2004) artwork

The Calcium Kid (2004)

30th August 2004

A milkman, and amateur boxer, from South East London is unexpectedly thrust into the boxing limelight and the chance to fight for the boxing world title, and it's all thanks to calcium rich milk and Sabastain Gore-Brown and his fly-on-the-wall sports documentary.
Orlando Bloom, Omid Djalili, Michael Pena, Rafe Spall, David Kelly, Michael Lerner, Ronni Ancona, Billie Piper
Comedy
2
1 Hour 28 Minutes

Jimmy "The Calcium Kid" Connelly is a milkman from South East London whose one ambition in life is to become a regional manager for his employer Express Milk Dairies. A fan of milk all of his life, his bones have become super-strong from the vast amounts of calcium swimming around his body, and as a result he is able to give, and take, some serious beating. So it is no surprise that whilst sparring with Pete Wright, a contender for the boxing world title, Pete is injured by a wayward punch.

With no time to find a replacement boxer, Pete Wright's manager, Herbie Bush, is desperate to salvage what little remains of his thread bare reputation. As a result he appoints himself as Jimmy's manager and sets him up to fight the current World Champion Jose Mendez in Herbie's self titled "Melé on the Tele". Ready, or not, Jimmy is soon propelled onto the world stage as Britain's new boxing hope, and naturally it doesn't take long for the usual media circus to descend. But matters aren't helped when he promptly turns from being a hero to villain when his scripted performance is interpreted as being racist.

So with some not so tactical advice from his always drunk Irish trainer, some inspirational rapping by his best friend Stan, his love interest Angel and even his own stalker who ends up moving into his house, the road to the top is certainly going to be less than conventional. Can this amateur from the East End really be Britain's brightest middleweight hope in the ring? Can he cream the opposition? Frank Bruno and Chris Eubank certainly think so, but has Jimmy the bottle to get into the ring?

The current run of British low budget films can probably be put down to two things - cheap Digital Video filming technology and the rapidly running out arts council grand funded via the lottery. As a result the general picture quality of low budget titles has been rapidly improving. On the whole, this can be applied here with a picture which is bright and sharp with a good level of detail and above average bit-rate throughout. There is the occasional problem with grain, especially in the darker scenes, but it is generally a quite pleasing transfer with little or no problems with artifacting or outlining.

With the film being made on a typically British shoestring budget, and presented in a mock documentary manner, there is very little scope for anything fancy in the sound department. Still, what is offered here is more than adequate with some clear and precise dialogue which remains firmly focused in the centre channel. The Dolby Digital 5.1 448Kbps soundtrack offers the occasional use of the surround channel for the ambient effects, but there's nothing here to really test a home cinema system.

Although the menu is static there is a nice introduction to the principle characters before finally resting on a rather surprised looking Jimmy. From here on the menu is scored whilst the various submenus have cut scenes from the film before showing the options. However, one annoying feature which seems to be unique to Universal Pictures DVD releases is that the menu times out after about thirty seconds before returning to the previous menu and eventually starting the film. I don't know whether most people like this, but I find it all rather annoying.

The extras consist of a number of deleted scenes and outtakes. Whilst the deleted scenes are rather poor, with no real explanation as to why they were removed, the outtakes are actually rather funny with Omid Djalili mostly falling about laughing and getting the director very annoyed. There's also a nice scene with Frank Bruno imitating, rather well I might add, Chris Eubank (who also appears in a deleted scene). Things are rounded off with, horrors or horrors, a trailer for Billy Elliot - The Musical. Yep, if you thought that the film was bad enough, you can now endure the musical too!

After global mega hits, and handsome pay cheques, in the form of The Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean, it takes a brave man in the form of Orlando Bloom to take up this small budget film. Trouble is, brave as his efforts are, it doesn't really pay off and the only people falling over themselves to see this film will be his hordes of female admirers - and it won't be for his acting prowess either. Even the brief appearance, and completely awful acting, from Billy Piper can't really get the men interested.

Although Orlando Bloom is the principle cast member, it is Iranian comedian Omid Djalili who steals virtually every scene and gets all of the laughs. If anything, this film is a vehicle for his comic talents and with some prized lines, expert timing and even funny laughter outtakes, he alone manages to rescue what is essentially a rather lacklustre film. It's just a pity that the extras don't really add up to much, after all, where is the making of featurette, director's commentary or even an interview with ladies hero Orlando Bloom?

I could round off with some pun about boxing, but I'll resist. However, if you leave the ladies to slobber over Orlando, you may just get them to allow you to watch the next world heavyweight boxing championship in peace and quiet. You never know, they may even start to like boxing.

  • Deleted scenes
  • Outtakes including Frank Bruno and Chris Eubank
The Rum Diary artwork

The Rum Diary

DVD
27/03/2013
American journalist Paul Kemp takes on a freelance job in Puerto Rico for a local newspaper during the 1960s and struggles to find a balance between island culture and the expatriates who live there.
Man on Fire artwork

Man on Fire

DVD
19/02/2005
The Butterfly Effect artwork
Contagion artwork

Contagion

BD
04/03/2012
Skins S7 artwork

Skins S7

DVDTV
10/09/2013
Pirates of the Caribbean artwork
2001 artwork

2001

UHD
19/01/2021
Let an awesome journey unlike any other begin as Stanley Kubrick's dazzling 2001: A Space Odyssey is released on 4K UHD 22nd February 2021 from Warner Home Video.
The Doorman artwork

The Doorman

DVD
08/01/2021
LX 2048 artwork

LX 2048

DVDBD
27/01/2021
Scooby artwork

Scooby

DVD
25/01/2021
Coming to America artwork

Coming to America

UHD
22/01/2021
23 Walks artwork

23 Walks

DVDDIGITAL
17/01/2021

Leon

Review29/07/2016

Leon lives a sad life as an assassin for the mob, his home is a dingy flat at the end of a corridor. Every day he goes out, does a job and buys two quarts of milk. Today will be different....

Possessor

Features02/12/2020

Possessor follows an agent who works for a secretive organisation that uses brain-implant technology to inhabit other people's bodies - ultimately driving them to commit assassinations for high-paying clients.

Possessor

News30/11/2020

Possessor, released on DVD and Blu-ray 8th February 2020 from Signature Entertainment, follows an agent who works for a secretive organisation that uses brain-implant technology to inhabit other people's bodies and drive them to commit assassinations for high-paying clients.
"You don't know how fast time goes until you get there."
The Irishman (2019)

Tremors: Limited Edition

UHDBD14/12/2020259

V for Vendetta

UHD02/11/2020253

Cats and Dogs 3: Paws Unite!

DVDDIGITAL08/02/2021243

Normal People

DVDTV02/11/2020224

Killing Eve: Season 3

DVDTV02/11/2020182

The Good Fight: Season 4

DVDTV16/11/2020159

The Crown: Season 3

DVDBDTV02/11/2020156

Radioactive

DVDNOTES24/04/2020147

Fantasy Island

DVDBDNOTES14/02/202086

The Broken Hearts Gallery

DVDDIGITALNOTES18/01/202133

Possessor

DVDBDNOTES08/02/202127

Schemers

DVD
21/01/2021

23 Walks

DVDDIGITAL
17/01/2021

Oldboy

UHD
30/11/2020

Southland Tales

BD
04/12/2020
Get a free daily news update. DVD365.net works with the Amazon Alexa flash briefing skill