DVD365.net
The Calcium Kid (2004) artwork

The Calcium Kid (2004)

30th August 2004

A milkman, and amateur boxer, from South East London is unexpectedly thrust into the boxing limelight and the chance to fight for the boxing world title, and it's all thanks to calcium rich milk and Sabastain Gore-Brown and his fly-on-the-wall sports documentary.
Orlando Bloom, Omid Djalili, Michael Pena, Rafe Spall, David Kelly, Michael Lerner, Ronni Ancona, Billie Piper
Comedy
2
1 Hour 28 Minutes

Jimmy "The Calcium Kid" Connelly is a milkman from South East London whose one ambition in life is to become a regional manager for his employer Express Milk Dairies. A fan of milk all of his life, his bones have become super-strong from the vast amounts of calcium swimming around his body, and as a result he is able to give, and take, some serious beating. So it is no surprise that whilst sparring with Pete Wright, a contender for the boxing world title, Pete is injured by a wayward punch.

With no time to find a replacement boxer, Pete Wright's manager, Herbie Bush, is desperate to salvage what little remains of his thread bare reputation. As a result he appoints himself as Jimmy's manager and sets him up to fight the current World Champion Jose Mendez in Herbie's self titled "Melé on the Tele". Ready, or not, Jimmy is soon propelled onto the world stage as Britain's new boxing hope, and naturally it doesn't take long for the usual media circus to descend. But matters aren't helped when he promptly turns from being a hero to villain when his scripted performance is interpreted as being racist.

So with some not so tactical advice from his always drunk Irish trainer, some inspirational rapping by his best friend Stan, his love interest Angel and even his own stalker who ends up moving into his house, the road to the top is certainly going to be less than conventional. Can this amateur from the East End really be Britain's brightest middleweight hope in the ring? Can he cream the opposition? Frank Bruno and Chris Eubank certainly think so, but has Jimmy the bottle to get into the ring?

The current run of British low budget films can probably be put down to two things - cheap Digital Video filming technology and the rapidly running out arts council grand funded via the lottery. As a result the general picture quality of low budget titles has been rapidly improving. On the whole, this can be applied here with a picture which is bright and sharp with a good level of detail and above average bit-rate throughout. There is the occasional problem with grain, especially in the darker scenes, but it is generally a quite pleasing transfer with little or no problems with artifacting or outlining.

With the film being made on a typically British shoestring budget, and presented in a mock documentary manner, there is very little scope for anything fancy in the sound department. Still, what is offered here is more than adequate with some clear and precise dialogue which remains firmly focused in the centre channel. The Dolby Digital 5.1 448Kbps soundtrack offers the occasional use of the surround channel for the ambient effects, but there's nothing here to really test a home cinema system.

Although the menu is static there is a nice introduction to the principle characters before finally resting on a rather surprised looking Jimmy. From here on the menu is scored whilst the various submenus have cut scenes from the film before showing the options. However, one annoying feature which seems to be unique to Universal Pictures DVD releases is that the menu times out after about thirty seconds before returning to the previous menu and eventually starting the film. I don't know whether most people like this, but I find it all rather annoying.

The extras consist of a number of deleted scenes and outtakes. Whilst the deleted scenes are rather poor, with no real explanation as to why they were removed, the outtakes are actually rather funny with Omid Djalili mostly falling about laughing and getting the director very annoyed. There's also a nice scene with Frank Bruno imitating, rather well I might add, Chris Eubank (who also appears in a deleted scene). Things are rounded off with, horrors or horrors, a trailer for Billy Elliot - The Musical. Yep, if you thought that the film was bad enough, you can now endure the musical too!

After global mega hits, and handsome pay cheques, in the form of The Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean, it takes a brave man in the form of Orlando Bloom to take up this small budget film. Trouble is, brave as his efforts are, it doesn't really pay off and the only people falling over themselves to see this film will be his hordes of female admirers - and it won't be for his acting prowess either. Even the brief appearance, and completely awful acting, from Billy Piper can't really get the men interested.

Although Orlando Bloom is the principle cast member, it is Iranian comedian Omid Djalili who steals virtually every scene and gets all of the laughs. If anything, this film is a vehicle for his comic talents and with some prized lines, expert timing and even funny laughter outtakes, he alone manages to rescue what is essentially a rather lacklustre film. It's just a pity that the extras don't really add up to much, after all, where is the making of featurette, director's commentary or even an interview with ladies hero Orlando Bloom?

I could round off with some pun about boxing, but I'll resist. However, if you leave the ladies to slobber over Orlando, you may just get them to allow you to watch the next world heavyweight boxing championship in peace and quiet. You never know, they may even start to like boxing.

  • Deleted scenes
  • Outtakes including Frank Bruno and Chris Eubank
Confidence artwork

Confidence

DVD
22/02/2004
They lie, they cheat, they steal. But they do it with style. But things don't always go to plan.
The Rum Diary artwork

The Rum Diary

DVD
27/03/2013
King Kong artwork

King Kong

DVD
06/04/2006
Futurama artwork

Futurama

BDTV
27/01/2009
Man on Fire artwork

Man on Fire

DVD
19/02/2005
Ray artwork

Ray

DVD
01/06/2005
True Romance artwork

True Romance

LimitedBDUHD
03/06/2021
Restored in dazzling 4K with hours of brilliant bonus features, starring Christian Slater and Patricia Arquette, Tony Scott's True Romance is released on limited Blu-ray and 4K UHD 19th July 2021 from ...
Monsters, Inc. artwork

Monsters, Inc.

Zavvi ExclusiveUHD
05/06/2021
We Children From Bahnhof Zoo artwork

We Children From Bahnhof Zoo

DVDDIGITALTV
08/06/2021
The Cat O' Nine Tails artwork

The Cat O' Nine Tails

LimitedUHD
05/06/2021
The Pursuit of Love artwork

The Pursuit of Love

DVDBDTV
02/06/2021
A Bug's Life artwork

A Bug's Life

Zavvi ExclusiveUHD
03/06/2021

Supernatural S15

News10/06/2021

Released on DVD and Blu-ray 24th May 2021 from Warner Home Video, the epic journey of the Winchester brothers comes to a close as Supernatural enters its fifteenth and final season.

'71

Features23/11/2020

A young British soldier is accidentally abandoned by his unit following a riot on the streets of Belfast in 1971. Unable to tell friend from foe and increasingly wary of his own comrades, the raw recruit must survive the night alone and find his way to safety through a disorientating, alien and deadly landscape.

Last Action Hero

News13/05/2021

With the help of a magic ticket, a young movie fan is transported into the fictional world of his favourite action movie character in Last Action Hero, released on 4K UHD for the first time 17th May 2021 from Sony Pictures Home Entertainment.
"A gentleman allows a lady to maintain her fiction."
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)

Take Back

DVD29/03/2021491

The Good Fight S4

DVDTV03/05/2021339

Synchronic

DVDBD05/04/2021336

Line of Duty S6

DVDBDDIGITALTV31/05/2021284

The Good Fight S4

DVDTV03/05/2021339

Line of Duty S6

DVDBDDIGITALTV31/05/2021284

The Undoing

DVDBDTV22/03/2021169

Death in Paradise S10

DVDTV22/03/2021129

Possessor

DVDBDNOTES08/02/202169

The Broken Hearts Gallery

DVDDIGITALNOTES18/01/202164

Honest Thief

DVDBDNOTES16/10/202057

Soul

DVDBDUHDNOTES25/12/202042

Edward Scissorhands

DVD28/12/2000140

Gattaca

DVD01/01/2000113
Starring #ColinFirth, grab some snacks & stay in for some #SaturdayNight action with #KingsmanTheGoldenCircle avail…
DVD365.net

Brighton

DVD
05/06/2021

Lake Mungo

BD
03/06/2021

Locked Down

DVDDIGITAL
14/05/2021

The Stylist

BD
11/06/2021
Get a free daily news update. DVD365.net works with the Amazon Alexa flash briefing skill